When his now four-year-old daughter was born, Erno Davidsson, who works in project management in the construction industry, took a year of parental leave.
– It was by far the best year of my life. I got to be there when my child discovered new things, learned to talk and to run. The bond that was formed then is still very strong, he says with a smile.
At that time, he was able to return to his previous position after parental leave. But combining a six-month parental leave with work when their second child — now a one-year-old boy — was born didn’t go as smoothly.
– My immediate supervisor encouraged me to take the leave and said it was great. But the department head apparently took offense at my being away for so long. When I came back, I was assigned to a site I didn’t find meaningful. He said I’d been forgotten in the meantime. It felt unfair.
That job ended up being replaced with a new one.
Too little time with the children
In his current job, the commute now takes only half an hour each way. Still, the days tend to run long.
– On weekdays, there are only a couple of hours left with the kids after getting home. That’s far too little. I haven’t figured out how to make work and family life fit together so that there’d be more time for the children, Davidsson reflects.
He knows many other fathers think about the same issues, but speaking about them openly isn’t always easy.
– Part-time work or shorter days aren’t really talked about at the workplace. Many don’t have small children at home anymore, so they might not realize how big a thing it would be if fathers of small children also worked shorter hours for a while, he says.
– In an ideal world, work could be arranged so that both parents take turns — one month at home with the kids, one month at work. But in many jobs, that’s just not easily possible.
Making fatherhood visible at work
Davidsson hopes that employers would see fathers’ parental leaves as an opportunity rather than a problem.
– Of course, I understand that projects suffer if someone’s gone for six months. But if the employer supports and enables fathers to take parental leave, they get back a much more grateful and committed employee. It’s a good investment.
He says that even a small change has already made a big difference since changing jobs.
– This year, for the first time, I was the one who stayed home when a child got sick. That felt good — that I can be the one to take care of the little one.
Davidsson’s commitment to his current employer grew even stronger.
The joy of reunion is beyond words
After a day at work, the best moment is when the door opens and a small child runs into his arms.
– The joy of reunion is just indescribable. Children can’t fake it. When they come running to hug you, all the stress from work disappears in an instant. But at the same time, you feel that you should have come home earlier.
Not everyone has the chance to take parental leave. Sometimes a father simply has to stay at work to support the family. Davidsson knows this all too well — his own father traveled for work and remained distant. That’s one reason he wants to encourage other fathers to take parental leave whenever possible.
– Children grow up faster than you think, and you can never get back the time when they’re little. I’m grateful for every day I’ve been able to spend with them — to see them grow and learn new things.